Ambigious is my middle name
So, the Heath Ledger thing ... in case you didn't know, he crapped out last week. Tuesday to be exact, and all that day I was super busy at work and unable to even take a break and check out the news. I normally hit Yahoo at least once a day but with the stock market moving as it has and work being particularly busy this time of the month, I haven't really had any time to actually do anything...but well, work.
I digress, so Heath Ledger dies, and the thing that struck me initially was, "shit, he has a kid ... a small kid at that." The next thing, "shit, he's young and talented... what a waste." The third thing, "drugs are bad, drugs are really bad." Albeit, no one really knows what the dude died from yet and there's no question he was a bit tortured. The thing that affected me, and I understand people die every day, but it's different when it's someone that EVERYONE knows. But, the thing that I kept on thinking of, is "Thank God, Nick doesn't do drugs." I asked him if I could talk about this and he basically said no, so I won't go further, but sometimes it hits me how vulnerable we all are. A small move here and a small move there and the entire shit goes to hell.
Vague maybe, but I can't help but think how much I would miss him should anything happen; every year that 10 year age difference between us seems ... like a burden of sorts.
Anyway, the point is, that around this time of the year from Thanksgiving to maybe .. spring, I get into this MOOD. It's like everything disappears and what comes out is my frustrations, my anger, my general "Life sucks ass, life sucks big fat monkey balls." And, I can't shake it.